Author Archives: Kerch McConlogue

Respect for strangers.

Sometimes I read something I mean to write about, and then it totally slips my mind — like this piece from Possibility Virus blog of Michael Bungay Stanier. It took me so long to get around to this gem that the original post doesn’t seem to be available any more. Good thing I copied the article he referenced.

Nikki Weiss wrote the piece called “Leadership Tips from my Dad.” You can read her whole article here. I was struck by this part:

“I wish she had the courtesy to treat me like a stranger.”

This leadership principle is so amazingly simple. It says: “If you don’t like me you can be indifferent to me, but mean is unacceptable.” I notice a fair amount of meanness in the workplace that takes the form of passive aggression. We’ve all seen it but maybe not put quite that same name to it: gossip, withholding or not fully sharing information, criticizing management, and not supporting colleagues.

just plain meanIf you wouldn’t even treat strangers like that — then that’s mean.

And that for me is the bottom line of respect. Why is it that we treat strangers better than we treat people we know? Sometimes even people we are supposed to love — like spouses or children.

In John Gottman’s book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and How You Can Make Yours Last, he outlines the Four Horsemen of divorce — criticism, contempt, defensiveness and withdrawal. These are the behaviors that most likely to be evident in problematic relationships. And problems in relationships can feel a lot like mean.

I sure know when I see these behaviors in others. But catching it in myself might be more difficult. How do you keep yourself from sliding into mean? What can you do about it?

Planning in the fall

PumpkinFinally, it’s beginning to feel like fall around here!
There’s just something about fall that makes it feel like the real beginning of the year. And here it is October…Does it seem like we’re already behind?

Even thought I’m long out of school and my kids are grown, this seems like the beginning of the planning season. And the next season to make plans for is really the end of the year..

OH.. So confusing.. But the bottom line?

Making plans is all about deciding. Making plans before you’re faced with a crisis gives you the greatest opportunities and options.

I know that sometimes having so many choices makes the decision harder. And if you wait til the last minute lots of options are no longer available, so the decision seems easier.… Hmmm, Is THAT why you procrastinate?

Here’s a story.

My husband and I went on a little vacation last week. He finally had the engine of his ’67 Sunbeam Alpine back together and a road trip seemed in order — a short one, all the driving had to be contained in a 100 mile circle within which AAA would tow us home if necessary.

As time approached, we didn’t seem certain we could go. We weren’t sure the car would be ready, so I put off the real reservations until just about a week before the trip. Let me tell you, trying to make reservations at bed and breakfasts on a fall weekend – with only a couple days notice – is pretty darn tough!

That delay definitely eliminated some options. And it did NOT make the planning easier!

So as we come up on the biggest planning time of the year, whether your thing is parties, banquets or vacations, start mapping it out now. You can eliminate some stress if all you do right now is put on your calendar the stuff you know you’re committed to: the office dinner dance, travel plans for Grandma’s at Thanksgiving and your, or your kids’, vacation schedules through the end of the year.

If planning is something that easily gets shoved to your personal back burner, a coach can help.

Call me (410.233.3274)
Email me (click here)
I can help you consider all the bits and pieces of your plans… before the very last minute. Let me help you make a map for the future.
P.S. If you’re still wondering if this sounds good to you, check out these stories in my blog.

A Seagull Manager

seagull
I love words that are used to describe something they weren’t meant to describe… but they make such a clear picture. I bet there’s a grammatical name for that, but I can’t think of it.

So for now, let me start this archive that I’ll call “Just what does that word mean?” with this reference I found over at Off The Record | Anonymous Real life tales from the tech trenches

He was what is commonly referred to as a “seagull” manager: fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then leave.

I’ve known people like that. Haven’t you?

P.S. If you think of other words that seem to fit in the category, please share ’em in the comments below.
Thanks.

Engineers and Geeks

I’m working up to some over hauls to my website. I already have a “Special for ADHD” page which I hope is helpful for some people… You know who you are. But that’s not my whole target audience.

I also love working with business owners and technical types. So I’ve been toying with making a page specifically for each group: for business owners and for “engineers and geeks.”

Today, my engineer husband explained to me that I would offend both groups if I did. He says, “Engineer is a profession. Geek is a life style.” Further, engineers do not want to be called geeks which is somehow “less than” and geeks see engineers as old farts.

I don’t know if it’s true. But it’s an interesting predicament for me.

I see the best of both groups as people with lots of ideas, showing creativity in ways that would not necessarily impress a 7th grade art teacher. BUT it’s precisely their kind of creativity that gets bridges built, gets electricity to work in my iron (Ha! If I knew where it was!), gets this blog to work so simply that probably my mother, if she wanted to, could figure out how to comment on this.

Wurlitzer snare drum beater plans by W.J. Kerchner

Geeks didn’t really exist when my dad died in 1982. Nerds, yes. But they were different.

Here’s a story. My father played piano — methodically, not beautifully. You could recognize the tunes. But he was an engineer. And so his greatest pleasure was figuring out how to make a piano play itself.

This picture is of one of the plans he made for building a Wurlitzer snare drum beater. He’d borrow a part. Build two like it. Return the borrowed one. Keep the one he needed; one he’d sell. He’d also make up the plans and sell them. I found this set on eBay about 25 years after he died!

Now that’s creative!

That whole different way of seeing things fascinates me. And what fascinates me is what keeps me doing this coaching work with people I really like!

What do you think about this? Let me know.
Am I far off? Or is my husband? (Which, by the way, would make ME happier!)

Want to know what people are talking about? Check out Omigli

Thanks again to the Poynter Organization for sharing the info about a new search tool.

“Omgili, a relatively new site that searches online discussions very effectively … scans millions of online discussions on more than 100,000 message boards and forums.”

What I like about this as opposed to a Google Alert, which returns results on the recently posted, is that Omgili scans — or crawls — forums and discussion groups.

Perhaps I’d get the same results from the Google groups scan, but my recent check for engineers and geeks seemed to turn up none of the same info in the top page or two of results.