Author Archives: Kerch McConlogue

How to get up in the morning?

%(*^ alarm clock
Try practice.

I know that final push to actually be awake in the morning is a struggle for lots of people. My DearHusband hits that snooze alarm the first time at about 5:15 am finally finds himself on the way to the shower between 6:15 and 6:30 (Yes, I KNOW, that’s a lot of snoozes!)

I’m glad my oldest son finally moved out. It was time; he was 20 something. I was tired of trying to set off a nuclear bomb under his bed every morning to get him moving.

Some people with ADHD take their meds an hour before they really have to get up and then, thanks to the better living with chemicals, they can just get up.

But when I saw this suggestion by David Seah over at Better Living Through New Media . He was talking about his experiment to get up every day at 6 am. He’s trying practicing getting up… Well, it boggles my mind. He sourced StevePavlina.com
 who suggests:

This is going to sound really stupid, but it works. Practice getting up as soon as your alarm goes off. That’s right — practice. But don’t do it in the morning. Do it during the day when you’re wide awake.

Steve has a couple of articles about getting up and getting going like How to be an early riser and this one that my father would have just loved called Bear Bombing (You just gotta read that! But don’t call children’s services on me.. I only laughed and IMAGINED it would work.) They all sound pretty logical, but I wonder if a mother could make a kid practice? THAT’s the time to get this straight, when the kids are small and require only a shake or two and not a neutron bomb!

I’m not sure it would work. If you’ve tried it an it worked for you, I’d sure like to know about it.

Happy waking.

Kerch

Cool Stuff Being Made

Thank you very much to the librarians and researchers over at the ResourceShelf for once again showing me more fascinating ways to waste time!

They did warn me. Cool Stuff Being Made requires a “time sink alert.”

Ah yes.. This morning I watched a video on how Silly Putty is made and my hero, Red Green narrated one on how Duct Tape is made.. And there are so many more to go!

Thanks to the National Association of Manufacturers for this on demand learning stuff!
Oh the hours I can flick away with THIS great info!

kerch

Networking or building relationships

I really hate the whole networking thing. I hate going to events and shoving cards into as many hands as I can. (Although, I do kinda like taking the cards home and writing postcards to the people I met. But more and more people don’t bother to include street addresses. So that just frustrates me.)

In the fall I took the assessment associated with the book Now, Discover Your Strengths.

One of my top five strengths is “Relator.” That means I prefer spending time with people I already know. I’m not shy. I don’t dislike meeting new people. But mostly I prefer to build relationships. I want to understand the dreams and goals, fears and pleasures of the people I know.

To me, relationships only have value if they’re genuine. I have a very low tolerance for political games and BS. I know there is a risk to say this out loud. (And perhaps more of one to publish it on the web where it will live forever. There goes my shot at a supreme court judgeship!)

I know there is a risk involved in starting my kind of relationships with people. At the outset, I can never know if the other person is on the same page as me. Maybe I’ll put a lot into the relationship and find out that the other person just wants something from me – not necessarily a sharing thing. But when the connection works, it’s a beautiful thing.

Before I knew about this relator part of me, I thought I was some how flawed because I had such a hard time making myself attend more networking events and shoving more cards into more people’s hands. But now I’m thinking, as a relator, I have to find other ways to connect to new people.

I stumbled on this post in the blog, Addicted to the Hustle, written by Fredd Kambo

I don’t bother “networking” anymore, instead, I try to build relationships with people I find interesting, and who I think are doing interesting things. And I make it my mission to help them in any way I can to achieve their mission. I find this much more satisfying, much more honorable, and much more fun. And this is the cool thing about people….When you help them out in this way, they help you out. Not because it’s a tit for tat deal, but because both parties are engaged in a mutually beneficial relationship that extends beyond the next favor.


Hey, I was a math major, I can put two and two together
I add Fredd’s idea to what I’ve learned from Ellen Bristol at the Bristol Strategy Group about Selling the Smart Way® and finding my “ideal client.” And I’m thinking I just have to get more clear about just who are the people I really want to work with. When I know who they are it should be easier to find them. Personally, I’d rather talk to four people and get three new clients than groaning under the prospect of having to talk to 100 people in order to find 5. (Besides, I have ADHD. I’ll forget the plan way before I hit 32 contacts)

So maybe I’ll just put it out here:

  • I love to work with people who own their own companies. There is so much happening so quickly when you’re the top dog. If you’re not careful you’ll miss enjoying the ride on that pony you started down the mountain.
  • I “get” IT types and engineers and they fascinate me. Maybe because they are so much about “fixing things” and that feels like a commitment to progress. I love to work with other coaches who get the process.
  • I want people who will commit to at least three months of work and then keep going. I don’t really care what the schedule of appointments is, but I love it when it’s consistent. It’s really a rush for me when clients come to the call having thought about what they said the last time they’d do by this time, and then have made some progress on that… even just a little.
  • I don’t like to feel like I’m taking my client’s last dollar. I don’t like working with people who always seem to know whose fault it is that their in a certain position, who never take responsibility for their own situation. (You might need therapy) I don’t write resumes, but I will look at them and give you my opinion of you from the page. I’m not a professional organizer. I know some I can recommend. I can talk to you about how your stuff is working for, or against you, and help you decide what you really want to do with the stuff. But I’m probably not going to sit on the floor with you while you go through boxes of files.
  • But most of all: I love people with too many ideas — people who can always think of another way to do something are never boring. Sometimes I have to hang on tight to the string of their kite as they soar to new heights and see new sights. (OK, maybe that was a really lame attempt at literary something or other, but you get the idea.) I love to help work out the details of that plan when they come back down to earth.

Call me if you’re ready for a coach. Let’s see if I’m the one for you right now.

Call me if you were a client and are ready, or thinking about coming back. I love connecting with old friends.

Call me if you want more information. I’m happy to be a resource.
And if you’re working on some marketing plan of your own, just who are your ideal clients? Can you name them? Can you figure out how to get more? Want some help?

Call me or send me a note.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Kerch

Is MySpace the New Pot?

In the December 31 column “On Blogs” by Troy McFCullough in the
Baltimore Sun “’07 may be year bloggers break free of all the hype.”

Daryl Plummer, chief Gartner fellow, is quoted by the Associated Press about blogs:

“A lot of people have been in and out of this thing. …Everyone thinks they have something to say, until they’re put on stage and asked to say it.”

Then this morning, according to ResourceShelf, which is “.. where dedicated librarians and researchers share the results of their directed (and occasionally quirky) web searches for resources and information.” (If you aren’t actually a librarian, you might have NOT idea about the kinds of quirky things these pros can dig up. How about the “Atlas to Plucked Instruments”? Wait, I digress…)

The ResourceShelf reported this morning:

More than half (55%) of all online American youths ages 12-17 use online social networking sites, according to a new national survey of teenagers conducted by the Pew Internet & American Life Project.

Past President Bill Clinton may made the most famous denial of his association with marijuana in March of ’92 when he said simply, “I didn’t inhale.” But he certainly was neither the first nor the last to get poked because may — or may not — have dabbled in drugs. The more accessible the forbidden is the more people will try them. (n.b. I am NOT encouraging or condoning drug use or experimentation. I am mother, for cryin’ out loud!)

Today, checking on a candidate’s past drug use is as common as checking on the attitudes and dalliances of his youth. It’s part of the business of politics. Tomorrow, it will be checking them on the internet or in the archives of ancient online BulletinBoards, UserGroups, MySpace,YouTube and other such on line social networks.

In my opinion parents today go way over board by teaching children to fear strangers. We all need healthy respect for that with which we have no experience. We don’t (please tell me you don’t) send money to Nigerians who send emails offering us millions of dollars for our help. We don’t eat food we find in the street.

We can be polite if someone asks for directions. But we don’t get in the car with them to take them to their destination. Respect vs. fear.

I am not making a statement about drugs here. Don’t suppose I am. Don’t infer it. I am not talking about drugs.

However, I am talking respect.

We must not fear MySpace or the internet. We must be careful; we must it wisely. Because in the end, the ether is absolutely NOT PRIVATE. And your mother WILL find out what you did here.

Happy New Year.
Watch what you say!

Kerch

Make time for the mess

Yesterday two of my friends sent me links to this article in the New York Times: Saying Yes to Mess. One friend — this would be the friend who does NOT have ADHD – attached a note saying: “I should not send this to you. It only reinforces the futility of your struggle.” The other one, a comrade in the struggle, said: “Yesssss! Up to a point, anyway.”

Personally, I think that’s the key. “Moderation in all things.”

My father, not one big on moderation, insisted, “There is a place for everything and everything goes in its place.” If I would just always put stuff back where it belonged then I’d always know where it was. And I would never waste any time looking for the thing. But, in fact, I do know where most of my stuff is. And maybe the time I spend looking for what I can’t find offsets the time I would spend cleaning it up.

I believe moderation is making the piles neat enough so they can be contained and do not threaten to topple or explode. Moderation is putting all the collected out-of-place stuff into one box so I know where to look for it. Or so it’s contained and more easily sorted later. Moderation is understanding that clean enough is just that.. clean enough. I prefer one of my grandmother’s mottos: “It’s better dusty than broken.”

I asked a neighbor who always seemed to have a perfectly neat house, “How much time do you spend each day doing house work?” She listed the time she spent cleaning up the kitchen and making beds and doing a little laundry, running the vacuum and dusting a little. I’m sure it was about two hours – every day! Man, I got stuff to do in those two hours that’s more important TO ME than cleaning. But you gotta know what your priorities are. Clean house was never one.

My husband likes his underwear folded neatly and put in his dresser drawers. He can’t understand why I shove my mine in the drawer just as it comes out of the laundry basket. He thinks it doesn’t take any time to fold underwear before you put it in the drawer. Have you ever actually figured out how much longer it takes to turn an undershirt right-side out and fold it? Let me tell you, it’s a lot longer than just shoving it in the drawer! And when I can no longer look in the drawer and tell the difference between panties and bras, I should just get locked away in a home!

If I take the plastic wrap off the new container of mushrooms and put it on the kitchen counter, my husband seems to think that I should stop everything and throw it immediately away. He claims it doesn’t take any time to do that. But that’s not true. Besides, if I stopped to put the trash away, I might forget the important part of the job I had set out to do, like, maybe, make dinner!

Jerrold Pollak, a neuropsychologist at Seacoast Mental Health Center in Portsmouth, N.H., pointed out in the Times article that which we messies already know: “Total organization is a futile attempt to deny and control the unpredictability of life.”

Life is unpredictable – and messy! I can’t control the weather. I can’t control when the phone rings. And I can’t control where the lid of the spice bottle falls.

By the way, if it goes under the stove, I just put a plastic bag over the top of the jar, secure it with a rubber band and call it a day. I am NOT putting MY hand under the stove to pull out that lid! And if I fished it out with a broom handle, you wouldn’t want it back on the jar anyway! So why should I waste time fetching that which I can not see and is not in my way and is of no further use anyway?

David H. Freedman, who the NYT calls a “mess analyst,” and Eric Abrahamson are authors of “A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder,” out in two weeks from Little, Brown & Company. They suggest this great “mess strategy:” … “create a mess-free DMZ … and acknowledge areas of complementary mess.” For me it could mean that there shall be no, er, very little mess in the living room. But the basement? That’s a whole different world. If my dear husband wants to keep every scrap of wood that he ever cut off the end of a board, he can do it in the basement.

Einstein’s oft-quoted remark, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk?”

I knew I liked Einstein!