Deciding what to acquire

New stuff has a way of sneaking into my house. Some stuff, I pretend I don’t know where it came from. Some stuff was a gift. Some stuff, I just felt sure I needed to own.

I just read Andrea Lee’s blog on Shopping | Rethunk She makes the point: Go to the mall and pretend you are at a really cool museum.

Back in my previous life as an artist, I went to trade shows regularly. And everybody had the coolest stuff. In the beginning, I probably spent more money than I made, until I came up with my personal dedication to the notion of “appreciating without having to own.”

You go to a museum and don’t feel compelled to bring home the pictures from the wall. (And if you do, those guys with guns at the entrance do a pretty good job of dissuading you from the act.)

Sometimes, armed with my mantra, I shop at places like Pier 1 and other specialty stores. But I specifically look for the cool thing I might just know I need to buy. And then work back thru my mental inventory of what I already have and decide what might do that same thing — if it were just moved to someplace else.

Couple the appreciating without having to own with re-purposing what I already have is a great way to, at least, keep from adding to my personal pile of too much stuff.

If you want me to thank you, give me your address.

I’m on a roll here with things that bug me.
Here’s another one.
… people who don’t put their physical address on their business cards.

I figure this is some kind of hedge against random people showing up at your home. It must be your home you’re protecting, otherwise, why hide the address?

Before I was a coach, I was an artist. I made painted papercuttings and sold them to craftshops across the country and at craft fairs up and down the east coast. I always had my street address on those cards.. and by the way, I’ve always worked from home.

Back in the day, there was no internet open to the general public. So your phone number and address were the only way clients might find a professional.

In almost 30 years, I never had a person randomly show up on my doorstep. But in the ten years since I have more or less retired from that business, I’ve had a pretty fair number of people call or write because they kept my business card and now, years after we met, they want to buy something or ask about something. What kind of connection might THAT be worth?

Sometimes they want something I still have around. Sometimes they want something I could make up relatively easily. And it always connects me to someone I once met.

Connection is a very nice thing.

But over the last couple of years, I’ve gotten way too many cards with no physical address. Miserable dictu — that’s Latin, means “terrible to say”.. or as I recall anyway — most of the cards I get without addresses are from women. HMMM, Do I think you are professional? Or scared of the public?

Why does it matter to me?
When I meet new people, I like to drop them a note and make another connection after that initial hand shake. Perhaps, (“Although it’s hard to believe,” she said smiling) I didn’t make a big enough impression so they don’t recognize my email address.

Perhaps a hundred people will be sending that person an email. So why bother to open mine?

I like to send post cards. My own personal post card, with my logo, address, tag line, etc. It also has a place for a HAND WRITTEN NOTE! Imagine! And I like to write with a fountain pen! Think my note will stand out? You bet.
Think you’ll get one, if I don’t have your address? Nope.

Hey, try this, send me a note with your street address, and I’ll send you a post card!
Really.
And, hey, if you’re doing it right, your street address is already in your signature file so you only have to click that button and we’re good to go!

I’m waiting to hear from you.

kerch

If you want me to call, give me your phone number.

Can I tell you something that just burns me about beautiful websites?

… People who list their addresses, phone numbers, etc. as graphics so I can’t copy and paste the information into my address book.

Look, I know you probably did it because you thought it would cut down on spam. But it also cuts the number of people who actually WANT to get in touch with you.

If you’re a professional organizer (hint, hint — narrowing down the field of people I MIGHT be annoyed with at the moment) and you can’t figure out how to set up filters in your mail manager, then how can you help a person who signs up for every emailed newsletter and offer there is.

Professionals don’t scribble their phone numbers on the torn edges of old envelopes. They have beautiful business cards so the person who gets the info thinks they are a professional. Maybe he even thinks you’re bigger than you really are.

The reason businesses, especially small businesses and solopreneurs, have a web presence at all is so that prospective clients think they are professional. The web is a great leveler. Fancy websites — and by that I mean well designed, easy to navigate, and professional looking — give prospective clients a certain confidence in the product they’re looking at.

Here’s the back story that riled me up this morning.

I am a coach. I work with people who have too many ideas. I’m looking for a few organizers to recommend to clients who want that service.

I personally know one of these professionals. I write to her and ask for some other references so I have more than one person’s info to pass on.

I go to each of the websites of the people she mentioned. The sites were all well laid out and easy to navigate. BUT two out of the three had graphic phone numbers. I couldn’t copy and paste them into my list of people to whom I’ll refer clients.

True, if you’re looking on the web, likely you’ll send an email first. But what if I need the info to send to my aunt who doesn’t use the internet? (yea, i know, it’s sorry to admit.. but facts are as they are.)

What bugs you?
Leave me a note.

ADHD and adults

Sometimes, they say, it’s a good idea to let people know what you’re thinking while there’s still time to adjust the plan.

I run a support group for adults with ADHD at St Christopher’s Church in Linthicum, MD, on the third Wednesday of each month. We meet in the church basement so if you come, park on the side and come in through the third door in the back. (Sounds a bit mysterious, doncha think?)

Here’s the back story to the new idea:

We often get a visiting family member of one of the adults – a wife, husband, mother, sister, aunt — someone who thinks the adult with ADHD needs some help. We all understand it’s important to educate the “others” in our lives. The group is always supportive of new people and their “other,” but I don’t like those people to come more than once. The person who does not have ADHD sometimes takes over the meeting with their questions. And that’s not what we’re about.

But last night, someone suggested we might plan one meeting particularly for adults with ADHD and their “other” who ever that may be. This would be one time when we’d be happy to see all those “others” out there and answer what ever questions they have and offer what ever help we might give.

We’ll likely have the meeting on the west side of the Baltimore metropolitan area. But lots of stuff could change.

What I’m curious about is this: What would you like to learn from a meeting like that? Do you think it’s a good idea? Would you come and bring someone?

Drop me a note and let me know what you’re thinking.

I look forward to hearing from you. I like the help of others!

Thanks for thinking.

Kerch

How do you know when the decision is the right one?

I had a note from a woman named Suzanne. She said:

I listened to your ADD class on decision making. Excellent!
I’m making a big decision now regarding returning to a career that I had retired from 18 years ago. Actually I am about 90% committed and would like to make a “clean decide.” In fact, when I was in the business before, and quite successfully, I always left a bit of the back door open. I wonder if it is ok to go forward even though I don’t have a 100% commitment.

Suzanne.
I’m glad you liked the class. And so, I’m pretty sure you know this, but I’m not a fortune teller. so I really can’t predict if you’ll be happy going back to your previous profession.

If you kept that back door open because you had a genuine thought that you might actually want to go back in, that’s different than leaving it open because you weren’t sure you were ready to close it.

That does not imply you should not go back. But it does ask what you think you’ll get by going back.

In my opinion, all meaningful work is about more than the money.
It might be a different decision, if you need the money to survive (if babies will die without it) (I love that you heard the class and get the reference without explanation!) If you’re just ready to work again after you’re kids are grown, well, that’s different, too.

So my questions would be:

  • What do you get from working?
  • What do you get from not working?
  • What do you loose if you work?
  • What do you loose if you don’t work?

One thing that I depend on when considering these kinds of important questions is my “one clear thought” in the morning. I think about the thing before I go to sleep. (sometimes that leads to not much sleep, but the morning does come!)

Then first thing, before I get out of bed, I think about the issue at hand.. and then pay very close attention to the conversation that pops up. For example, lately, my husband and I have been on a house hunting expedition. My first thought about a great property with a not so perfect house was: “You’ll have to do a lot to brighten that place with so few windows.” Everywhere I sit to work in my house has LOTS of windows. so.. the decision, for me, in this situation, is “don’t buy the house.”

I think only the very simplest of decisions are made with 100% surety. Yes, you definitely should brush your teeth in the morning. But everything is negotiable. So what ever choice you make today will affect tomorrow. Likely the very hardest part is not the deciding itself, but having the confidence in the decision so you do continually remake it. That leads to perseveration! It’s not useful.

What’s your one clear thought in the morning over your issue?
Drop me a note, I’d love to see how the process works for you.

Kerch