Author Archives: Kerch McConlogue

What Bounty Paper Towel Man Can Teach Us

Have you seen the Bounty paper towel ads?
The Chicago Tribune ran a story about them today. On TV you really don’t get the full effect. But on line, they are a stitch!

“One of the insights we had was, `[A man] doesn’t have to be perfect; he just has to try,’ ” said Biondi [Brawny’s director of marketing, who lead the research campaign to determine what women want]. In one of the videos, the Brawny man tries to serenade you on the guitar but — adorably — forgets the words.”

Why do I care?

But past that they point out to me that a sensitive new age guy really just has to ask a couple questions and then listen. He doesn’t have to fix things. Although, sure when something is actually broken, it would be nice. But lots of times what I’m thinking has nothing to do with anything being broken.

Men and women are happiest with people who help.. not just judge us wrong and then attempt to fix something.

That is the beauty of coaching. A coach will ask you some questions and wait for the answers. And maybe wait longer for different answers.

That’s really what I want. Someone who helps me figure stuff out for myself. But he, or she, can’t do it if he doesn’t just listen first.

Competition

“When the competitive urge gets so great, it is difficult to embrace a code of ethics… The moral dilemmas begin to seem as a barrier – rather than a guide – to effective lawyering.”
Charles Ogletree in I’Ve Known Rivers: Lives of Loss and Liberation by Sara Lawrence Lightfoot

Competition holds an important place in our culture. Kids are encouraged to participate on sports teams for the athletics of it, for the comradery of it, and for the experience of winning and losing.

When the third of those reasons takes first place, it seems we forget that the other two even exist.

Win-at-any cost fosters bullying among children who grow to be bullying bosses, spouses and, dare I use the word, friends. It doesn’t just affect lawyering but also any other pursuit.

Know at the core what is important to you. For me, it’s respect. Competition and respect are not mutually exclusive. But they do support the joy of athletics and comradery.

ADHD and Addiction

ADDitude Magazine asked me to write a review of
When Too Much Isn’t Enough:
Ending the Destructive Cycle of AD/HD and Addictive Behavior
by Wendy Richardson, MA
Piñon Press; $15.99

They chose a different version of the review, so this one isn’t bothered with their copyright issues. Thank you very much.

Let me just say, “I know some people…” who are not technically addicted to food or alcohol or video games. But I do know people who over indulge more often than they should in harmful activities — including just plain ole harmless solitaire.

So Wendy Richardson’s new book, When Too Much Isn’t Enough: Ending the Destructive Cycle of AD/HD and Addictive Behavior, put a great deal of abusive behavior in to a very clear picture for me.

It’s hard to know when you’ve eaten enough, if you don’t notice a full feeling in your stomach. People with AD/HD could find it hard just to remember how much they’ve had to drink — and I’m not talking here because of a drunken stupor. Undiagnosed or untreated AD/HD makes it easier to slide into problems and then more difficult to recover from them.

Richardson’s easily-readable book looks at the many faces of self-medication and why people with AD/HD overindulge or become addicted to drugs, food, alcohol and compulsive behaviors. She makes a strong case for getting a proper and complete diagnosis and treatment. She advocates for finding professionals who understand both AD/HD and addictive behaviors. She also presents many possible avenues for recovery including not only the well known 12-step programs, but also therapy, counseling, coaching and medication. The book’s appendices and end notes include extensive resources available on the Internet, in libraries, and through educational and support organizations.

Obviously, noticing a behavior is key to changing it, but people with AD/HD are notoriously bad at self monitoring. So the chapter “The Less Talked About Traits” is helpful in recognizing how sensory sensitivity, sleep problems and organization issues might affect a person’s abilities to manage his own life effectively.

The chapter “It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Problem” has an excellent explanation of the genetic and biological aspects of AD/HD and addiction. It is written for the general public but comprehensively cited for anyone who wants more in-depth information.

“The Truth about Medication” addresses many concerns that recovering drug addicts and alcoholics have about medication interfering with that recovery.

If you — or someone with whom you live or work — struggles to control problematic behaviors, this book will surely be useful to you. But if you are watching someone who has AD/HD and you are just beginning to notice behaviors that might be crossing some imaginary line — if you’re just not sure what’s going on – this book will be more useful than you can imagine.

Let’s get this show on the road!

I am sorta torn about how exactly to do a blog. I mean should it be all coaching based and, therefore, be like so much else “content” on the web? Should it be made up my personal rants and risk letting potential clients know more than perhaps they want?

I know I want to have one … I was at a business meeting in the fall. The speaker asked how many of the marketing people there had blogs. There were less than a half dozen out of the hundred or so who had them. I like to be near the beginning of the curve, I had one. My art business had a really big site back in 1995, when websites were just becoming common. It’s smaller now. But it’s still there www.snibbles.com. I knew then that it was a little too cutting edge for my traditional art business of frakturs and scherenscnitte. But I live with geeks. And I wanted to fit in. So I had a site.

I’ve had this blog for a while. But as you can see, I haven’t figured out much of what to say here. So while I’ve HAD one.. I didn’t really use it.. So while I might be a head of the thundering herd, the main part of the bell curve… but I know I’m not cutting edge this time.

I’ve wondered if I could think of something to say often enough to make this more than a sprinkle in the ocean. .. Who would know or miss it? If I commit to doing this, then I want to stay committed. And keep going.

I’m working on a book about parenting. Maybe if I sneak in a couple stories here or there, someone will have something to say, that might be useful.

I want to be more consistent with what I say I’m going to do. That’s a coaching thing.. being accountable.. to someone else.. in hopes of learning to be more accountable to myself.

In the end, the best coaches keep their personal opinions and life stories out of their work. So if my politics or what I read makes you uncomfortable — as a client you would never know a thing about it.

If you read this and get a little coaching tip out of the post, so much the better. Life is about change. You gotta notice it to learn from it. So I’ll try to make a point somewhere so you might learn something.. or think about something in a new way.

As my grandmother used to say, “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Welcome!

Kerch