Support Group for Adults with ADHD

These often informal groups offer low cost or free avenues for information about living with ADHD.

I run one specifically for adults with ADHD in the Baltimore area, sponsored by the Baltimore Regional Chapter of CHADD. You can find information about those meetings, as well as other chapter meetings in Maryland on the calendar listing page of the chapter’s website.

If you’re not in Maryland, check the website of the national CHADD for chapters near you. (the map to find a chapter is WAY at the bottom of the page!)  Also check on the ADDA website for support groups for adults with ADD.

Keeping track of time

I do a lot of different jobs for lots of different people. Some is paid, some is volunteer. The paid work I have to be able to bill for. Some of the paid work has parts that are not paid. And the volunteer work, well, I’d just like to know how much of my day I’m giving away.

mechanical clockI just learned about a great program called Grindstone from Epiforge.

When you start working on a job, you click the name in the list you’ve made up yourself. And start the timer. When you’re done. You stop the timer. At the end of the day, or the week, or any span of time, you can get a report that tracks your time by project, by task or by profile (which I currently can’t quite figure out how to use). You can get a pie chart or a regular report. It’s great! You can print out a time sheet!

And the best thing is if you walk away from your machine, it tracks how long you’ve been idle. And then asks what you were doing for that last period of time. You can set that interval for whatever best suits you. If you were doing something you need to track time for, you can manually add that time. Or you can just click the button that says Grindstone shouldn’t worry about what you were doing.

I’d been doing pretty well using a Google side bar simple timer. Clicking to start and stop and then writing down the numbers in a journal. At the end of the month I look back thru it and tally up the numbers. But Grindstone is way more accurate.

Because the timer only keeps track up to one hour, and because sometimes I get so involved I forget about the time, then I might not know if that was 1 hour and 20 minutes or 2 hours and 20 minutes. Grindstone knows the right answer. And it’s way more accurate!

Oh, and by the way, did I mention it’s FREE!

Saving receipts nightmare over? Maybe.

receiptsI’m so excited. I just found a way to keep track of money painlessly!

I hate looking for receipts and figuring out what they go to, what they were for.. and where they should be filed.

But wait…

I just read over at about a new service called ShoeBoxed that will freakin’ ORGANIZE YOUR RECEIPTS for you!!  You just mail the stuff in their postage paid envelope and they scan it and provide a bunch of different ways to make the stuff available to you.

I’ve not tried this system at all.. so I can’t say I’m recommending it, per se.  I’m definitely gonna try a 30 day free trial.  I’ll report back when I know more.

However, one of the very cool things they suggest (and to do this you don’t need their service at all!):

Take a picture of your receipts with your camera phone! How cool is that. You always have it with you anyway. The picture is at least a pretty clear record of what you spent. I’m thinking if you just want to remember how much you spent at the grocery store, just click the bottom line.  If it’s more complicated, I’ll click it more than once if it won’t all fit in one pretty reasonably sized picture.

They have an iphone app that, I suppose, will send them the info in the right place and it would be part of your collection of stuff.  If you’ve used ShoeBoxed, or when you do, please comment back here.  I think this could be really big!

Sleep is the opposite of getting up

Waking up in the morning is a problem for many people. I’ve written about it often: I’ve suggested looking into sleep apnea and practicing how to get up.

People with ADHD often have trouble going to sleep. There are so many ideas popping up in my head when the room gets dark.  They aren’t worries, they are just ideas that link one to the next with very tentative connections.  Here’s what went through my head last night: (Don’t judge, this is a truth!)  “Do I have enough fabric for the bedroom curtains? Three panels at 35″ each… or could I get away with less?” leads to “I really do need a curtain on the door.” and then to “Do those valances really match the new color of the walls?” and then “What would my mother think about that?”  And then anybody can see a line of conversations about that!

None of these things are worries, they’re just thoughts. Slowing them down would be a real help.

Here are some things that I know would help at least me to sleep better.

Maybe some of them will help you, too.


  1. Don’t play solitaire (or any computer games) right before bed. Probably at least for a half hour. When I break this rule, I close my eyes and see a whole layout of the cards.  Then I can move them around and continue playing in my head.  Not relaxing!
  2. Don’t read page turner books before bed. This seems fairly obvious. If I’m reading a page turner, I don’t stop reading until I’m really exhausted—generally around 3 a.m.  Also not useful for getting enough sleep.
  3. Go to bed when my husband (ok, your spouse, partner, mother) says it’s time. That used to make me really mad. I’m not done doing what ever I’m doing or watching what ever show comes on next. But he gets up really early to go to work, and I’m fortunate to work for myself alone at home. So even if I sleep in—or at least later than he—I’m still at work at the same time he is. Ah, the benefits of an 50 foot commute!
    But wait! I digress…
    Somebody telling you, “Now is the time,” is really a nice reminder, provided they don’t nag and you can get past needing someone to tell you to do it.
  4. That leads to another sleep zapper: Don’t keep working until you head up to bed. That’s really not conducive to getting to sleep–even if it’s not worry about the business.
  5. Don’t drink coffee late in the day. I used to drink coffee all day long. I’d make a pot at 4 p.m. to keep me focused through the dinner hours. But as I got older and started taking meds for ADHD, I find that caffeine after about 2 is an unfortunate kiss of death.
  6. Don’t drink too much water right before bed. Heck, my grandmother knew that!  But these days the doctor, reflexologist, the freakin’ dog walker and my mother keep telling me to drink more water.  I’m sure offsets some of its benefits if I’m up six times at night to go to the bathroom! And no, I’m not sure how much is too much. And I guess if I wake up in the night wildly thirsty, that wasn’t enough.
  7. Every diet I’ve ever been on says “Don’t eat right before bed.“  Well, when there’s a new episode of Law and Order on TV, a bowl of popcorn or cheese and crackers is just a habit.  And not a very good one. While that gianormous turkey dinner at Thanksgiving makes everyone tired just after they eat, it always seems to induce a nap, not a full night’s sleep.  Your stomach has to work to digest all that.  And when part of the body’s working, no part can sleep particularly well.

Check out this list with a couple other ideas for getting better sleep.

The Art of Saying “No”

no-entryI read a great piece by Whitney Hess over at A List Apart (a great site, as they say, “For people who make websites” and I say, for people in business in general!).  From her article: No One Nos: Learning to Say No to Bad Ideas.  Part of her article was take-aways from the book The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes
by William Ury.  I particularly like this one:

The shorter it is, the stronger it is. Pascal famously said, “I wrote you a long letter because I didn’t have time to make it shorter.” The longer the argument, the sloppier and less well-thought out it appears.

My son had a science teacher in high school who once told me, “Tommy conveys more information in fewer words than any other student I’ve had.”  That’s a great life skill. (Perhaps not so useful when the assignment is for 5 pages and the topic’s been covered—fully—in 2… nevertheless…)

When a person is talking, and trying to say “no,” they are often looking at the other person’s body language and interpreting it, judging it. So they use more words to soften the perceived blow of the “no.”

But maybe the receiver of the “no” is just thinking, “Whew, I didn’t want that anyway.”  or “Thanks for seeing that what I said I wanted isn’t what I really wanted.”   When you judge the reply before you get it, you may cut off the outcome you actually want.

And the argument gets muddy and frustrating for both parties.

You don’t have to answer every request as it’s made. Even in direct conversation you can say, “Wait a minute, I’m thinking about that.”

The request could be totally bats. But if it’s made by your boss or a client or a prospective client,  consider the tone of your reply.  There is a fine line between blunt, and maybe rude, and wishy-washy mamby-pamby whatever-you-want-dear kind of reply.

So here’s the advice:

1.  Decide what you want at the end of the conversation. Do you:

  • want the job, but you don’t want to be micromanaged?
  • just plain don’t want to work with that person?  or
  • The job really is too bats to be considered.

If you want the job but not on those conditions, keep the former in the front of your mind. Don’t worry about details that don’t effect that result.

Say the job is “Fly off this roof to the ground.” Don’t just say, “That won’t work.” Even when you know it won’t.

How about, “That won’t work because people have no wings. “  Or skip the that-won’t-work part and go directly the thing that WILL work. “I’ll meet you out front.”  Then take the stairs.

2.  Plan a way for the other person to save face. Give them some way out of the end of the converstation. Pass back a request for clarification or a negotiation over the project. “What do you want to get out of my flying off the roof?”

3.  No matter what, be polite.  You don’t know when you might need that person again. AND you don’t know who that person knows!

4.  Keep your eye on the prize, so to speak. Decide what you want to be the outcome. Then steer the conversation that way.  It’s not manipulative in a bad way. If the other person really doesn’t agree with you, they’ll let you  know.

And maybe, if you can’t get the negotiation to the result you want, you’re better off not working with that person anyway.